


Their Screams All Sound the Same

by Ryliemichelle



Category: Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Dark Abigail, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Is she ever stable, Mental Instability, PTSD, Romance, Trauma, Unstable Abigail Hobbs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-12 23:44:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2128899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryliemichelle/pseuds/Ryliemichelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abigail thought going back home to see her parents would give her some sort of closure. Seeing her past buried in the ground would help her. Oh, how wrong she was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Their Screams All Sound the Same

It was cold. Too cold. Too cold for someone to be driving themselves to a deserted, unkept graveyard, but here she was. Abigail Hobbs had dragged herself from Maryland to Minnesota to do this, and with every step she took away from her rented beater car, and every step she took toward the graveyard where she had been told was her mother and father’s final resting place, she regretted it more and more. Going alone wasn’t the best idea, was it? It’s not as if she can change her mind, though. So, Abigail forced herself to just continue in, eyes on her feet as they trampling the frost-covered grass with every unsure step she took. 

Two years since the incident, and she hadn’t come to see her parents’ graves once. Not once had the thought even crossed her mind. At least, not until her psychiatrist mentioned it in passing one day a little under a month ago. Since then, Abigail couldn’t stop thinking about it. Mainly thinking about if it’d give her the closure that was promised to her. The closure that she so desperately wanted. Maybe with closure, she could sleep at night. Keep the panic attacks at bay. So, she did a bit of research, talked to a few people, and, eventually, she found where her family had been buried. She told Hannibal, Will, and Alana that she was going off to visit a friend, knowing that they’d offer to come with her, and Abigail just wanted to be alone. She scheduled an early flight there, and an early flight back. This was just a day trip, after all. There was no way in hell she was staying in this cursed goddamn state for any longer than she needed to. Too many memories, too many painful, painful memories to warrant an overnight stay.

It took a bit of walking in circles around the small plot of land, but Abigail eventually found the gravestones that marked where her parents were. She could hear her heart beating as she stopped in the middle of the two. Her parents, oddly enough, were buried next to each other. Even after all that had happened, it was fitting to bury them next to each other? Maybe they had bought grave plots before the Hobbs family became an unstable mess. 

“I see you went for the standard granite for the headstones. Nice, nice. Not too flashy. Understated. Standard. Very Hobbs of you, I’d say.” Abigail started quietly, not exactly sure what to do at the moment. Talking seemed like the right thing, so she continued, reading off the gravestone to give her some sort of way to start talking without sounding too awkward. “In loving memory of Louise Sophia Hobbs. Mother, wife, friend to all. Sounds a bit like you’re everyone’s mother and wife as well, but I get where you’re going with that. Now, I’m not really here for you, sorry about that. I don’t hate _you_. I mean, yeah, I sort of hate that you didn’t know what was going on, or, I mean, if you did, you didn’t try to stop it. If you knew, I’d hate you. But I at least hope you didn’t, so I’m going to say that you had no idea and it wasn’t your fault.” 

God this was awkward. This was so so awkward. Maybe Abigail should go. Despite the want to walk back to her rental car and go home early, Abigail stayed, feet planted in the snow-covered ground, continuing to talk.

“Continuing about things that aren’t your fault, I want to let you know the fact that you didn’t stop it wasn’t your fault. Again, you didn’t know.So… I don’t have very much to say to you. I just… You didn’t deserve to die, really. You were a great mom, and, I mean, you tried to help me out. I love you. I guess.” She sighed, running a hand through her slightly messy hair, feeling a bit bad that she didn’t bring flowers. Quickly, Abigail made a mental note that next time, if there was a next time, she’d bring flowers. Maybe send a few to her mother’s grave when she got back to Maryland. 

Her line of vision moved from her mother’s headstone to her father’s, and immediately, she stiffened, feeling her heart beating quicker than it already was, her stomach twisting into knots. The cause of her ruined life, the panic attacks, the nightmares, the never-ending hallucinations, was buried roughly six feet under the ground. Instead of feeling relieved at that thought, Abigail’s hands just stared shaking, and she could almost feel herself wanting to cry. This wasn’t particularly what she wanted to feel, but she supposed it was justified. 

  
“Garret Jacob Hobbs. Loving father and husband.” She read, blinking a few times after. “Loving father and husband, huh? They actually put that on your gravestone after what you did to cause your death? Wow, what fucking assholes. Believe me, the last thing you deserve is that. To be called loving. I’m pretty sure loving doesn’t mean heavily traumatising the child you claimed to quote unquote love.” Abigail took a loud, shaky breath before shutting her eyes. There were tears welling up in her eyes, but she refused to let herself cry. Garrett Jacob Hobbsdidn’t deserve that. 

“You… Are such a horrible person. You really are. I can’t even begin to describe how much I hate you. And how much I hate that I hate you. Until a few years ago, you were the person I came to with literally everything. You were my friend and I loved you. Now? Now, you make me sick. You don’t know how much that hurts, do you? You ruined me. You destroyed me. I bet you never thought this situation was ever going to happen, though, right? You thought you saved your child the heartbreak and the trauma by cutting open her throat. That’d finish her off, right? Of course right.” By the time Abigail had finished speaking, the tears previously welling up her eyes had spilled over and were falling down the girl’s cheeks. So much for not crying.Here she was, staring at two slabs of stone with some words carved into them, and she was trying (and failing) not to cry. She must look so pathetic. 

“You want to know what hurts even more than knowing what you did to me?” Abigail’s voice was honestly shaking now, as was the rest of her body. Either from the cold, or from the wave of emotion hitting her at once. “I still love you. Because you’re still my father. My daddy. My friend. You were my best friend. I trusted you. I relied on you. For everything. And I should hate you for betraying me and ruining my life, and I do. You make me sick. The idea of you makes me sick.” She had to pause, wiping the tears from her face.“But I can’t stop loving you.” After speaking, Abigail fell silent. No words came out of her mouth, no sound either, she just was staring at the grave for a long while, chest shakily rising and falling. She didn’t know what else to say or do. So, Abigail took a step back from the grave, continuing to stare at it before managing to one final thing to her father.

“The only regret I have about your death is that I’m not the person who put those bullets in you. Do me a favour, okay? Stay in the ground and leave me alone.” Abigail allowed another trembling breath to leave her lips before turning to make the short trek to the car so she could go back to the airport, back to Maryland. 

Well. That wasn't what Abigail pictured closure to be at all. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapters should be a bit longer, but it's hard for me to write with only one character. So, much much longer chapters to come. Actual Hannigail to come as well.


End file.
